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Wednesday, April 24, 2013

A Memorial Message to My Grandma Donley

While this isn't specifically a writing post, I'm sure it could be applied to writing in many ways.

Because of the loss that my family and I have recently felt, I had the desire to talk about this loss, the grief that I felt, and my own personal way of dealing with it in a healthy way.

This week my grandmother passed away following a stroke the week before. She was loved by all that knew her because of her kindness and empathy to others. She was a mother, a grandmother, and a great-grandmother. She doted on her grandchildren and great-grandchildren with particular zeal. While her kindness leaves a hole in our hearts that might seem it can never be filled, it can be. The memory of her and all that she stood for already fills that space that she filled during her life. Her actions and love will stand the testament of time teaching us the way to love family and friends. This isn't the time to ask why or to feel guilty about things we feel that we left unresolved. We loved her deeply and ... that is enough. She knew that fact probably better than we did.

Yes, there were tears. There will always be tears when someone you love passes away. It is a natural reaction and a healthy one. I haven't let my sorrow consume me though. I know that she wouldn't want that, and she deserves better from me. I will remember her taking care of me when I was younger, and would spend my days up on the farm scratching knees, crying when my eyes were filled with dirt from a fall (she ran water over my eyes to flush them), breaking my toe under a wagon tongue, and when she would listen to my childish problems with an empathetic smile and a comforting hug.

While she may be gone, she will live on in the memories we keep, in the parenting methods we learned from her, in the way we look at life and people. Her love touched more lives than probably she even knew, but we know how important she was and still is as we continue our own lives, cherishing the time that we spent with her. Good bye, Grandma Donley. I love you!